Friends (are friends forever)
Marci and me on top, Kimberly, Becky S and Becky H on bottom!
After work on Friday I needed to go to the grocery, but for some reason I do not like going to Aldi by myself. And since Tom had had such a long week at work I asked my youngest son, Alex, to go with me. Much to my surprise he happpily agreed! I mean what 17 year old doesn’t love watching me hem-haw over what fruit looks the best as well as help figure out what what we should have for dinner throughout the next week? He’s a trooper.
He was in a talkative mood in the car telling me about his friends. Josh this, Ava that, Andy and Brooklyn at the park……so on and so on. He has only recently (Probably about 6 months ago) found a great group of friends to hang out with. He’s always had friends, but he’s always seemed content to spend most of his time in the basement playing video games and becoming a phenomenal guitar player. I always thought he was missing out on something the rest of my kids had had in high school, a social circle of friends. And although I would express this to him, he never felt like he was missing anything.
So in the car, as I hear about the groups adventures of playing on swing sets at the elementary school, and making beignets one afternoon, he says “Did you have a group of friends in high school?” And I said “oh yeah! We had a GREAT group!” He then said, “I’m so glad I’ve found a group of friends that don’t pressure me into drinking, or drugs. They just like to go have fun and act like a kid like I do”.
After a little back-patting for a remarkable young man I (we) am raising, I started reminiscing and remembering my “group”.
Marci- my best friend- moved to Louisville in our sophomore year. Somehow we just hit it off and can talk just as easily today as we could then.
Teresa- 12 years of catholic school together. One of the smartest people o know….and fastest!
Donna - Teresa’s sister one year behind us who was as goofy as the day is long.
Jennifer - also a year behind us but amazing all the same.
Theresa - 12 years of school together. SO quiet at first, but has a big personality. Kimberly - moved to Louisville in our Junior(?) year. hated being called Kim, so I called her Burly. Such big plans for her life and you knew she was going to achieve them!
Becky H. And Becky S. Best friends since grade school. And SO MUCH FUN!
Some of us were closer than others and at any point in time that could change as well.
We all came from my little high school Mercy Academy. An all girls school in the heart of downtown Louisville. With a graduating class of less than 90. Our own little safe haven in the heart of the Metroploitan universe. We shared so much in that small space. I don’t know if it was the Catholic High School experience, or the small high school, but these women impacted my life and still do. We shared so much of our lives with each other, we grew into “Women of Mercy” (look it up, it’s a thing!) through many retreats together. And as I’ve mentioned before, spiritual sisters are special. We knew what we meant to each other then, but I’m positive we didn’t know the lifelong impact we would leave on one another. Thinking about our times together brings tears to my eyes still today.
We still “keep in touch”. They actually do it a lot more than I do. I’m the one that has removed myself, regrettably, from them. They meet up every few months with the other half of our friend group (the guys from St. X, all guys school). Chris and his husband Bill, Aaron, Grant, Chris (Becky H’s husband and high school sweetheart) , Brian and Mary Beth (also high school sweethearts) and others.
I know I’ve missed a lot over the years, moving away from Louisville. I haven’t made these people a priority and I am the one who has missed out. Not them. I’ve watched from afar as they have become successful in their fields (which is kind of intimidating to this lady whose biggest success is raising 5 amazing children and riding on the coattails of her husband’s success). I’ve watched their children grow, and seen them struggle through it. I’ve watched them lose parents, siblings , children….and I’ve cried with them, unknowingly to them, from afar.
It’s hard for me to jump back into this group and mostly it’s based on my insecurities. The same ones I had as a teenager, I suppose. Am I enough? After so long , why would they be interested in getting to know me (as I am NOT the same person I was then). Will I fit in? Will I remember what they remember? Because my memory sucks!
The insecurities I had back then still get in my way and being an introvert does not help the “friend” situation. But I do believe that these friends truly are friends forever, even if I’m not an every day part of their lives.
I’m going to end with a song that every single retreat in the history of high school retreats from 1983 on has used. One that I still sing in my head quite frequently. We probably didn’t listen to the words much back then, other than the chorus….they mean even more now. Friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the lord of them.
So to my son, Alex, I’m so happy that you have found “your people”. But they aren’t as cool as “my people”. Sorry.
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