Do the John Wall

Most of you know I have 5 children. They couldn’t be more different from eachother. Sure, they’re all a little weird but they are all good hearted, productive adults. Maybe I aimed low, but that’s really what my goal was for them. I never cared if they had the drive to be millionaires, or the top of their field. I want them all to be adults that lead lives by a moral compass. I want them to have hearts that want to help others in their times of need and to protect their own fiercely. So far so good. Success.

But any parent will tell you that the relationships they have with each of their children are very different. I share a meaningful piece of myself with each of them. With Christine, Hunter and Alex I believe that’s music. With Doug and Alan it’s Kentucky Basketball. Each child will look at your relationship with their siblings differently too. If I hear one of them tell me that one of the others is my favorite one more time……

True, there are times where I may get along better with one of the kids than the others, but never have I had a favorite. It’s true whether they believe it or not.

With that being said, Douglas and I have a great relationship where sometimes we are friends and sometimes we have the traditional mother/son thing going. Ok, maybe not traditional. Rarely does he call me Mom….Dawn or Down is what he prefers. But he does bounce ideas and asks advice of me. He’s been my confidante at times and the friend I’ve needed in desperate times. He flips me off and tells me not to worry because he’s doing it as my friend, not my son.

He’s always loved basketball and was taught well (by me) to be a Kentucky fan. That, in itself, is a true sign of successful parenting! I tried to always have some Kentucky gear for him to wear, especially since his best friend was an Ohio State fan. He was fluent in basketball talk and loved going out and shooting hoops. Even in the military, when they played basketball for PT, he was one tough dude holding his own against a bunch of Marines on the court.

We’ve shared a couple of Kentucky games. The first one being in Columbia, SC. I bought tickets for this one since he was stationed in NC thinking it would be a short distance for him to drive. Lo and behold his car broke down so after driving to SC with my brother and Alan, I got to make a trip north to pick Doug up as well! A lot of driving resulted in a win and great memories. The latest game was this past weekend at Mizzou. Another great win! We also, along with Alan, have matching UK tattoos. I know this was done for me, not them, but I love that we share it!

In 2018 he married my wonderful daughter-in-law. It was a beautiful, momentous occasion. Even for me, who can’t remember shit, I remember a lot about this day almost 7 years ago. I remember having to grab my mom, who used to be a floral designer, out of her seat where she was waiting for the wedding to begin so that she could decorate the cake with the live flowers that everyone forgot about. I remember Alan’s best man speech, talking about the dead possum in our back yard. I remember that we didn’t have a mother/son dance because I don’t like to dance and he thought it was stupid. I remember thinking he looked so young in his Marine Corps uniform but was in reality older than I was when I first got married.

But my favorite memory is one that he probably doesn’t even remember. Tom and I were leaving the venue but the music was still blaring and the kids (the newlyweds and friends) were still dancing. We had just stepped outside of the venue but the doors were propped open and this song came on the playlist. https://youtu.be/meYIbAt2iaQ?si=F4AxkgO4mTuq2LoP

Do the John Wall…I swear I heard Doug yell “Mom!”. I turned around and we looked at eachother and did the John Wall arm motion. And then I left. That, in my brain, was as special as any mother/son dance and still brings happy tears to my eyes when I think of it. I don’t have some wonderful legacy to leave, but if I’m remembered for how much I love my kids and how much I love Kentucky Basketball (you pick the order) then I’m happy.